Don’t settle: Woman in arranged marriage reflects on colorism, misogyny in ‘Indian Matchmaking’

Indian Matchmaking shows picky individuals with a long list of demands that centre around caste, height and skin colour. A new Netflix show about an Indian matchmaker catering to the high demands of potential brides and grooms, and their parents, has stoked an online debate about arranged marriages in the country. The eight-part series, Indian Matchmaking, premiered on Netflix last week and is currently among its top-ranked India shows. It features Sima Taparia, a real-life matchmaker from Mumbai, who offers her services to families in India and abroad. The show has become the subject of memes, jokes, and criticism, about the pickiness of the potential spouses and their parents, with long lists of demands centring around factors like caste, height or skin colour. Indian Matchmaking isn’t just about the liberal colorist and sexist fabric South Asian cultures are steeped in. It’s about Brahmanical patriarchy.

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If you tick all of the boxes above, then you have come to the right place. Whether you are looking to find a special someone who shares the same background and culture as you or you are someone curious about the Indian dating culture, we have got you covered and more. India has one of the richest and most beautiful cultures in the world. From food to traditions to colorful celebrations, India takes the cake when it comes to extravagance.

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These men and women — or boys and girls, as they are referred to in Indian society, perhaps to reinforce their youth and innocence — of Indian origin are in their 20s and 30s, living in India and the US. Credit: Netflix. Indian Matchmaking just takes this concept further. Of course, each of these comes with their own good, bad and ugly.

I think the entire experience felt like going on a journey with no idea as to what could turn up next. There have always been matchmakers and, more recently, marriage agencies that connected families. And every Indian family has a Sima Mami who offers women unsolicited, and often blunt, advice to wear more make-up, or hit the gym to lose weight, if they ever hope to get married.

Despite this sociocultural context, Indian Matchmaking has generated a lot of outrage, with critics and viewers alike accusing the show of playing up — or, at the very least, not critiquing — everything regressive in Indian society. Words like hate-watch and cringe-fest have regularly featured on social media. For many women, the show was triggering , because of the way it has shone the spotlight on how intelligent, ambitious, successful women are reduced to a set of stereotypical adjectives.

The show has sparked outrage on social media from some, with some calling it a hate-watch Credit: Netflix. However, not everyone agrees that all the criticism about this show is valid, saying it merely holds a mirror to Indian society, warts and all. Not everyone agrees with criticism of the show, with some saying it holds a mirror to Indian society Credit: Netflix.

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Arranged marriages, as seen on Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking,’ can be problematic, but white people need to consider their own hypocrisy.

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Mixing documentary modes with dating show ridicule, it maintains and masks the most insidious injury arranged by marriage: caste.

Single to Shaadi offers curated matches for South Asian Singles

The Mumbai-based matchmaker Sima Taparia delivers this meme-friendly one-liner in the seventh episode of the hit Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. But she departs from this well-worn model in her attention to one extra characteristic: caste. This silent shadow hangs over every luxurious living room she leads viewers into. She lumps an entire social system, which assigns people to a fixed place in a hierarchy from birth, together with anodyne physical preferences.

This prejudiced treatment includes, but is hardly limited to, workplace discrimination in the United States. For example, the state of California sued the tech company Cisco in June for allegedly failing to protect a Dalit employee from discrimination by his higher-caste Brahmin managers.

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Is it a match? A potential couple meet up courtesy of a matchmaker in the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking. A picky year-old from Mumbai whose unwillingness to marry raises his mom’s blood pressure. A headstrong year-old lawyer from Houston who says she doesn’t want to settle for just anybody. A cheerful year-old Guyanese-American dancer with Indian roots who simply wants to find a good person to be her husband. These are some of the singles on the new Netflix original series Indian Matchmaking , a reality TV show about arranged marriages in Indian culture.

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In an age of dating apps and websites, finding love can feel a lot like full-time job—and that’s where Sima Taparia, the star of Netflix’s new reality show, comes in. Indian Matchmaking follows Taparia as she matches hopeful singles in the U. A so-called “marriage consultant,” Taparia relies on singles‘ said preferences, their parents’ preferences yep , and her years of matchmaking experience to set up successful couples.

On Netflix’s “Indian Matchmaking,” marriage consultant Sima Taparia travels the world to meet with hopeful clients and help them find the.

Indian Matchmaking is a Indian documentary television series produced by Smriti Mundhra. Indian Matchmaking was released on July 16, , on Netflix. Mundhra named the casting the biggest hurdle of the show, going through a client list of families and calling to see if they were willing to be on camera. Mundhra also noted that the series initially started with about a dozen singles but with some that “fell off” during production.

The show received mixed reviews between critics and social media users. In addition to showing ” classist ” and ” casteist ” stereotypes, the show was criticized for whitewashing the idea of arranged marriages. The Los Angeles Times followed up with the couples appearing on the show and reported that they are not together anymore. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Entertainment Weekly. Retrieved The Hollywood Reporter. Screen Rant. Men’s Health. The Los Angeles Times.

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It has been a few months into trying out the prospect of arranged marriage. The decision came with the desire to find a decent, understanding companion I could share my life with. At the outset, let me tell you the process of finding a suitable match in this structure requires a considerable investment of time and energy. So after much deliberation, I finally decided to take the plunge.

In the new Netflix docuseries, “Indian Matchmaking,” affluent Indian singles look for love and marriage with the help of a professional.

I was worried about the judgement that would come with it. I had to sit with that for a while and evaluate my reaction. It became very evident that I was trying to protect the problematic nature of traditions in my culture. The way love is defined changes over time, alongside our accessibility to the world; one screen swipe away. This system is global and established politically as well as socially. Traditions in India have perpetuated these ideals to an unhealthy standard, which explains why the biggest selling beauty product in India is a skin lightening cream.

The skin lightening obsession is perpetuated by the Indian caste system, which consists of the wealthiest at the top – the lighter-skinned Indians, while the bottom has the darker-skinned poorer community, who are heavily mistreated. The caste system combines inequality of wealth, colourism, within religion and education – all of which is based around patriarchal methods of governing. This is controlled with arranged marriages.

Choosing someone based on the colour of their skin is prejudice. While Sima Aunty asked the Punjabi Rupam whether she must marry a Sikh, she never listed a Muslim as a potential lover. Same-sex relationships were decriminalised in when Section was scrapped from the penal code, allowing people in India to legally love who they want. I say that, but I’m not sure I would want a same-sex couple to have to go through the trials and tribulations of this show.

Unless You’re Brown, ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Is Not Yours to Criticize

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Then, Sam is all caught up in the buzz around Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking Coronavirus Questions Answered, Plus A Chat About ‘Indian Matchmaking‘ This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy.

Ruchika Tulshyan was 22 when her mother started searching for her future husband. And she has mixed feelings — happy to see her experiences represented but forced to reflect on some hard truths about the way women are objectified within the system. I was disappointed, of course, there’s colorism, there’s casteism, there’s a lot of emphasis on traditional beauty. The show introduces us to a cast of Indian and Indian American men and women — including a single-minded lawyer from Houston, an appearance-obsessed jewelry designer from Mumbai and an outgoing dancer from New Jersey.

As a year-old who had already finished grad school and was on track for a successful career, Tulshyan was shocked to hear that her mom had listed her name and photograph on an Indian matchmaking website without her consent. Not only had she found her a man whom she deemed suitable, but she had already begun talking to his parents about an engagement. I pretty much knew that that was going to be the way things would be for me. Tulshyan has now been married for nearly nine years, and she now lives with her husband and 4-year-old son in Seattle.

The Netflix show is an unfiltered portrayal of the archaic structures that still surround marriages in India and for Indian families living in the U. Though discrimination based on this Hindu social hierarchy is now illegal, its influence is still pervasive in everyday life in India.

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